


Stay With Me/ I Don't Wanna Be Alone - 12x09 coda

by BlueStar86



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 12x09, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bottom Dean, Canon Compliant, Coda, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Season/Series 12, Top Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 16:23:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9557051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueStar86/pseuds/BlueStar86
Summary: Arriving back at the bunker after the events of 12x09, Dean doesn't wanna be left alone and asks Castiel to join him. Since this is fanfiction inevitably things get heated. Three months is a long time to be missing the guy you are totally in love with.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was spurred on by a tumblr ask "I just want fic of them having slow passionate sex when they get back to the bunker." and I figured what the hell. Its about time I tried my hand at smut writing.  
> Boy was I not prepared for how hard this was. Hella respect for regular smut writers! How do you manage it without constantly squirming and blushing? LOL.  
> It got a bit rushed at the end as I wanted to post it before 12x10 aired (which is like in an hour LOL) so um yeah enjoy! 
> 
> ;-)

They don’t speak when they get back into Mary’s car. Castiel sinks into the backseat and concentrates on slowing his rapid heartbeat. His vessel...no his  _body_ is agitated, still vibrating from the rage that overcame him only moments earlier. 

Dean sits next to him again. In all his time spent with the Winchester’s he has never seen Dean purposely choose to sit in the backseat. Perhaps this is Dean’s way of wanting to get closer, of reassuring him that they can go back after this...

Can they though? Castiel doesn’t look at him. Doesn’t even flinch when Dean reaches across to touch Castiel’s hand where it lies beside him. It is such a cautious movement. Dean is working up the courage to cross that line, but Castiel can barely look at him, let alone touch him now. Knowing what he was planning to do, what he would have done without another thought. He is still so angry. Why must Dean continue to make such stupid choices? Dealing in his life again and again. Does he really not know how much _pain_ he causes him every time?

Still, Castiel doesn’t move his hand. He keeps it just in reach of Dean’s little finger. Barely touching, and yet it feels like a life line. Keeping him afloat amongst the overwhelming emotions he feels even through the buffer of his grace. Nowadays he thinks his grace is hardly a buffer at all.

By the time they get to the Bunker it is late, they are all exhausted and Mary says her goodnights first, hugging both of her sons and smiling at Castiel. He thinks he has shocked her tonight. Whatever she thought of him before, her view is now fundamentally changed. He notices her glance at Dean one finally time before turning and making her way to her room. Dean hovers still, lingering close enough that Castiel can feel the warmth of his body radiating from him. Castiel still hasn’t looked at him.

“Well, I think I’m gonna head to bed too.” Sam says. He claps a hand on Castiel’s shoulder. “Cas. Thank you.”

Sam turns slightly to look at Dean whilst his hand tightens on Castiel’s shoulder. “We’ll talk about this tomorrow.” He says. Castiel nods and watches Sam leave.

Dean is hovering and Castiel sighs and turns to face him. It is the first time he has looked at Dean since his outburst. Since he murdered Billie. Dean shifts his weight and holds his gaze.

“You should go to bed Dean. You must be exhausted.” He says, and he means it. Whilst still beautiful he is thinner, gaunt in the face and pale with dark shadows under his eyes. Castiel wants nothing more than to wrap his arms around him and never let him go. But his anger keeps him bolted to the spot.

Dean’s shoulders slump at Castiel’s words and he takes a step closer.

“Cas… I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“Because… I shouldn’t have put you in that position.”

“No. But you did Dean.” He faces Dean and holds his gaze. Dean looks broken, close to tears and Castiel wishes his anger would dissipate.

“Can we just deal with this tomorrow? Please?” Dean pleads with him. Castiel sighs.

“Of course Dean. Go to bed.” Castiel turns to leave but Dean reaches out and grabs his shoulder. Castiel raises an eyebrow in question.

“No… I mean… can we just…” Dean pauses and licks his lips. Nerves. Of course. Castiel has an idea where this is going but he’s not going to let Dean get away with not asking him specifically. After a longer silence where Castiel just looks at Dean expectantly Dean sighs and seems to deflate. Castiel almost feels sorry for him.

“I don’t wanna be alone.” He practically whispers the words. But they are enough to make all the difference and the anger seems to fade as Castiel is overwhelmed with love for this man once again. Not that it ever really left him. He steps forward and cups Dean’s face.

“You are not alone Dean. I’m right here.”

Dean breaths out his relief and leans forward, wrapping his arms around Castiel’s waist and burying his head in Castiel’s neck. He reaches up to hold Dean close, bringing a hand to the back of his neck and massaging him gently, he feels more than hears Dean’s sigh. The muffled “I missed you” is breathed into his neck and Castiel has to blink away the tears that burn behind his eyes.

They stay like that for what seems like ages before finally breaking apart. Dean smiles for the first time since they were reunited and takes Castiel’s hand. He guides him to his room easily, a well-trodden path for both of them in the weeks before Dean’s arrest.

This was still such a new development in their long relationship, it seemed like it took everything for them to get here, to get to the point where Castiel was a welcome addition to Dean’s bed… his embrace… his lips… his body. Castiel savoured every moment before it was cruelly stolen away, leaving him cold and empty. Now Dean is back and a solid weight at Castiel’s side. Oh how he missed just being in his presence. Dean is his North Star and he was completely lost without him. So much time lost and alone.

The click of the door closing behind them forces Castiel back to the present moment and the intensity of the situation. Castiel finds himself frozen, staring at Dean half disbelieving that he is truly here again after all this time and half realising that this is the first time they have truly been _alone_ in months. Dean steps forward and takes his face in his hands and doesn’t even hesitate as he presses their lips together. It is soft, hesitant, chaste, and yet it is everything Castiel has been yearning for. Dean pulls away before he can chase the kiss and looks at him bashfully.

“Is this okay Cas?” He asks, and Castiel wants to scream yes! Of course! I have wanted this, wanted you so badly! But he doesn’t. Instead he frowns.

“Deeean. It is _always_ okay for you to do that.” He smiles shyly and looks down before catching himself and sighing. “But you’re exhausted. You must get some rest.”

Dean pauses for a second, thinking it over. But then leans in again and kisses Castiel, this time more firmly, with passion and clear intent. Castiel opens up to him and returns the kiss, letting Dean take the lead.

“Do you have any idea… how long… I have been waiting… for this?” He says between kisses, each one fierier than the last. He slips his tongue into Castiel’s mouth and Castiel gasps at the intrusion, going pliant under Dean’s touch as his hands reach up and grasp Castiel’s hair. Dean walks him backwards until he hits the door, pressing his body against him. He leans back and looks at Castiel hungrily “I didn’t think I would have this again. I don’t wanna wait another minute”.

Clearly Castiel didn’t realise just how much he missed this either because it is impossible to deny this insatiable man a moment longer. He grabs Dean by his T-shirt and pulls him close as he leans forward and kisses him firmly. The taste of Dean is intoxicating and he needs more, licking his way into Dean’s mouth and sliding their tongues together. Dean pushes against him and experimentally thrusts forward, making Castiel groan at the pleasure of it. He runs his hands up Dean’s chest and up further until they are buried in his hair, tugging gently as their kisses become slower and more passionate.

He can feel Dean’s hands fumble with his tie, trying to loosen it. Dean’s hands are shaking though and it makes Castiel pause. He breaks the kiss and looks up at Dean. He looks nervous, though his pupils are dilated and his cheeks flushed due to their previous activities. Castiel takes Dean’s hands in his to calm him. Kisses his knuckles whilst holding Dean’s gaze. He slowly steps out from between Dean and the door and turns to walk backwards towards the bed, gaze never leaving Dean’s as he stops in the centre of the room, dropping Dean’s hands momentarily to pull off his own tie and undo the buttons of his shirt. It occurs to Castiel that this is some sort of strip tease. Dean standing frozen in front of him staring hungrily as he pulls off each layer of clothing until he is standing in nothing but his boxer briefs. Dean licks his lips, a nervous habit that Castiel now knows to associate with desire. His erection is tenting the front of his jeans and his hands are twitching by his sides where Castiel let them go.

Castiel steps forward into Dean’s space and Dean reaches out to run his hands over his bare chest, catching Castiel’s nipple with his thumb and causing him to draw a breath at the sensitivity of it.

“Cas…” Dean’s breathes. Voice breaking and eyes burning with lust. Castiel smiles at him.

“Take off your clothes Dean.” He speaks low, his voice deep and gruff and clearly affected by his own desire. Dean doesn’t hesitate and hastily removes his shirt and Jeans. Then they are standing in front of each other practically bare, both highly aroused and Castiel can hardly believe that they get to have this again.

It’s been months, and they have only done this a handful of times, always hurried, always with some sense of doom lingering in the background waiting to strike either of them down. They’ve never truly had the chance to do this properly. Castiel steps forward and presses himself against Dean, wrapping his arms around him to run his hands up Dean’s solid form, caressing the muscles of his back before moving back down until he is gripping Dean’s ass. Grabbing the flesh and squeezing and pulling Dean forward so their groins meet in another delicious thrust.

“I take it you missed the merchandise huh?” Dean chuckles.

Castiel furrows his brow for a second until he realises what Dean is referring to, he smiles then and nods. “Very much so.” He says before kissing Dean again and taking another firm squeeze.

Dean pulls him onto the bed and they fall together, shuffling up until they are lying side by side facing each other. Dean continues to kiss him and runs a hand up and down Castiel’s arm. Castiel moves closer, aching to touch the miles of warm solid flesh in front of him. He presses their bodies firmly against each other and moves his hips in a slow grind against Dean’s until the man is moaning into his mouth. Dean gets a grip around Castiel’s bicep and pulls him forward, twisting until Castiel gets with the programme and moves on top of him. This is an even better position and Castiel groans as Dean spreads his legs and gets Castiel between them, languidly rolling their hips together. Dean runs his hands down Castiel’s back and buries them inside his underwear, gripping his ass firmly and thrusting up to grind against him harder. Castiel watches as Dean licks his lips and looks down between them. He tugs on the waistband of Castiel’s boxers and Castiel leans up to allow him to pull them down. He shifts and kicks them off as Dean pulls of his own underwear and flings them to the side of the bed, and then Castiel is on top of him again, this time completely naked and able to feel every inch of Dean’s body stretched out beneath him. Their erections are both hard and leaking pre-come on their stomachs and Castiel reaches down to take them both in hand. Stroking them together slowly. Dean moans and arches his back and Castiel buries his face in Dean’s neck, sucking bruises into the delicate flesh.

“Cas!” Dean gasps as Castiel drags his teeth along his neck until he is breathing in his ear.

“Tell me what you want Dean… I want to make you feel so good.” He growls and bites Dean’s earlobe, feeling pleased with himself when Dean shudders underneath him.  There are things they haven’t yet done, things Castiel has thought about… has desired deeply, that he knows Dean also wants, but doesn’t want to presume. They spoke about those things briefly before Dean was taken but… they never got the chance.

 He traces the sensitive skin of Dean’s neck with his tongue, kissing and nipping where he chooses “Whatever you want me to do, I will do it Dean. Anything you desire.” He lets go of their erections and moves his hand further back, tentatively running a finger around where Dean is tight and sensitive. Dean’s eyes widen and he licks his lips, spreading his legs further and rolling his hips. Castiel grins. “Would you like that Dean?” He whispers in Dean’s ear.

“Fuck! Cas!” Dean cries. He pushes against Castiel’s finger and reaches up to cup Castiel’s face, pulling him down and kissing him again, taking his breath away. “Yeah. Please. God Cas… yeah.” He stutters, overwhelmed. His pupils are blown almost completely black with lust and he squirms at Castiel’s gaze. Castiel arches an eyebrow and smirks as he applies a bit more pressure, massaging the tight ring of muscle with his finger. Dean hitches a breath, bites his bottom lip and pushes Castiel up gently.

 “Cas, I want… just… hang on.” Castiel tilts his head in confusion momentarily as he watches Dean lean over and reach out towards his bedside table. He quickly realises what Dean is doing and sits up and back on his knees whilst Dean rummages around in the drawer before pulling out a small purple bottle. He hands it to Castiel and slumps back down on the bed, spreading his legs and giving himself a few quick strokes of his cock whilst he watches Castiel eagerly eye him up.

“You know what to do yeah?” Dean asks, the slightest hint of nervousness in his voice. Castiel rolls his eyes.

“I have watched humanity since the days of your earliest ancestors. I am aware of how to perform sexual acts Dean.”

Dean raises an eyebrow. “You watched gay porn didn’t you?”

“… yes.”

Dean sighs. “Just go slow okay?”

“Of course Dean.” Castiel smiles and crawls back up Dean’s body to kiss him gently on the lips before slowly making his way back down. He runs his hands over Dean’s firm chest and softer stomach, taking all of him in. Following the path of his hands with his mouth, lips and tongue and teeth tracing Dean’s skin as the man shudders and moans beneath him.

“I’ve missed this Dean. Look at you…” He caresses Dean’s thighs and peppers kisses down Dean’s stomach, turning his face to the side to follow a path down the crease of his groin. Artfully avoiding Dean’s erection and grinning at the sound of Dean’s whimpers.

“Cas, come on you’re killing me here!” he grumbles, but Castiel merely smirks.

He nips at Dean’s soft inner thigh before settling a hand around Dean’s erection and giving it a slow stroke. Dean moans, but Castiel lets him go again and instead reaches for the bottle. “You’re so beautiful Dean.” He says as he clicks open the lid. Dean huffs and Castiel gives him a stern look. “I mean it. You are perfect. You have no idea what you do to me, to see you like this right now.” Dean just squirms at his words and drapes an arm across his face. Covering his eyes. Castiel sighs and leans over him again, setting the bottle of lube aside and tugging Dean’s arm out of the way. He catches Dean’s gaze and holds it. “Don’t ever think you aren’t worth that praise.”

Dean merely whimpers. So Castiel leans forward and kisses him firmly, slipping his tongue into Dean’s mouth and tasting him, moaning against him as Dean kisses back just as hard.

When Castiel finally pulls away Dean looks utterly debauched, and they haven’t even really begun. He presses Dean’s thighs apart further and sits back on his knees as he takes the bottle of lube again and slicks up his fingers. Dean watches him eagerly, hips rolling up in his desperation to be touched again. When Castiel applies his slicked fingers to Dean’s rim his breath hitches. Castiel massages lube all around that tight ring of muscle, applying a gentle pressure but not going further until Dean gives him a sign that its okay. The trust that Dean is putting in him to do this, to touch him _there_ is overwhelming and Castiel still can’t believe that he gets to have this. Dean licks his lips and nods at him and Castiel sinks a finger inside him.

Dean is so hot and _tight_ and _God_ he can’t imagine what it would be like to go further. This alone is overwhelming. Castiel is stunned at how much Dean seems to like it. He is rolling his hips and sending out groans of encouragement as Castiel circles his finger inside him, opening him up before pressing another in. Dean moans at that and mutters “Yeah Cas” and “like that” and Castiel is highly encouraged by his noises. Castiel moves his fingers around again, scissoring them to open Dean up further. Then he pushes in deep and crooks them slightly and Dean bucks his hips and shouts out “Fuck! Yes Oh God Cas _there_!” Castiel grins and watches in awe as Dean writhes on his fingers, until he is able to slip in a third and loosen him up enough for his cock.

By the time Castiel is though prepping him Dean is a voracious mess. Breathing heavily with wide eyes and a permanent blush spread across his face and torso. His fingers are gripping into the bedsheets tightly and he can’t seem to stop rolling his hips down onto Castiel’s fingers. Castiel has never felt such strong desire as he does right at this moment. Dean is perfect and my god does he want him. He removes his fingers much to Dean’s protests and wipes them on the bedsheets. Dean stares at him hungrily and unconsciously spreads his legs further. He is the very picture of indecency and Castiel has never been so glad to have turned his back on heaven. His lust for this beautiful man is overpowering him and he doesn’t think he could hold back a moment longer.

He slicks up his neglected erection, hard and leaking pre-come from just how insanely turned on he is. Neither of them have a need for condoms, thanks to Castiel’s healing powers ensuring both are clean and healthy. Castiel thanks himself silently for that knowing that he wants to feel every inch of Dean wrapped around his cock. He positions himself above Dean, leaning on one arm with fingers buried in Dean’s hair, gripping gently. The other still holding himself, lining himself up with Dean’s entrance and gently nudging at the area where he is tight and slick and open. Dean wraps his arms around Castiel’s back and holds him tight, pulling him down until they are chest to chest. He can feel Dean’s heartbeat pounding and he reaches down to kiss him gently, moving to flutter kisses along his jaw and up towards his ear where he lightly bite on Dean’s lobe.

“Dean, Can I?” He breathes and Dean shudders.

“Cas! Yeah… Do it.” His eyes are squeezed shut and his arms gripped tightly around Castiel’s back, sinking his fingertips into his flesh. Castiel doesn’t hesitate a moment longer, he pushes forward, sinking into Dean in one deliciously pleasurable slide. The heat of him is almost unbearable, and Castiel is unsure how long he will last at this rate. As he bottoms out he holds his hips steady, panting at the overwhelming pleasure of being buried deeply in the man he loves.  He catches sight of a bead of sweat falling from Dean’s forehead and he has an urge to lick it off, but he remains perfectly still, waiting for Dean’s cue to move. He finally gets it with a nod and a breathy “ _yeah”._ He pulls back and thrusts forward, groaning as he does. Dean’s eyes are still scrunched closed and Castiel tugs on his hair to get his attention.

“Dean. Look at me.” He practically commands it and Dean complies. Opening those beautiful green eyes and staring up at him. “I want to watch you.” He admits. Dean groans and buries his face in Castiel’s chest, averting his eyes.

“Dean.” He growls. Pulling back and sinking into him again hard. Dean yelps and looks up at him again. Maintaining eye contact with him as Castiel picks up his pace. Thrusting in and out of him harder and faster. Dean rolls his hips up to meet Castiel’s thrusts one by one, gasping and huffing each time Castiel sinks in deeper. Castiel keeps a hand gripped in Dean’s hair and holds him steady, leans down and kisses him deeply, moaning into Dean’s mouth. Dean is insatiable like this, reaching out to touch Castiel wherever he can, wrapping his legs tightly around his middle and sinking his heels into Castiel’s lower back. The slick heat of him is near unbearable and Castiel can hardly contain himself. He gets his free hand underneath Dean’s thigh and pushes it up closer to Dean’s chest, it changes the angle and at his next hard thrust Dean practically screams out.

“Oh fuck! Cas! Right there!” Dean cries. Castiel grins down at him and aims for the same spot again. Pounding into him as Dean rolls his hips up to meet every thrust. Castiel can’t remember a time when he has felt such intoxicating pleasure. He is captivated by Dean’s beauty, still intent on watching his features as he brings him closer to the edge. His skin flushed pink, full lips parted as he tries to catch his breath, still slick with saliva from their kisses, his eyes scrunched closed as he focussed on his pleasure. Just watching Dean in his ecstasy would be enough to push Castiel over the edge. He trails kisses back up Dean’s neck until he reaches his perfect mouth and sucks on his bottom lip before sliding his tongue back inside to taste him again. Dean eagerly responds to the kiss and whines when Castiel pulls away.

He is getting close now, the tight heat of Dean around his cock making it almost unbearable to hold back any longer. He reaches down between their bodies to where Dean’s neglected erection lies hard and leaking onto his stomach. Dean gasps as Castiel takes him in hand and pumps him steadily, aided by sweat and pre-come and Dean’s breathy moans. Dean’s grip on his arms gets tighter as Castiel leans close to him, breaths in his ear. “Come Dean, let me see you.”

A few more carefully aimed thrusts on Dean’s prostate is all it takes. Dean throws his head back into the pillow and shudders as his orgasm hits him. Castiel watches eagerly as he writhes in pleasure, falling over the edge only seconds later as Dean clenches down on his cock, pumping his orgasm inside him and biting down on the junction between Dean’s neck and shoulder as he groans loudly, collapsing on top of him as he comes down from his high.

Dean lies underneath him, pliant and sated. He sighs as Castiel pulls out of him and rolls to the side. Ignoring the evidence of his release on his stomach Dean rolls over to face Castiel and smiles at him lazily. He leans forward and plants another kiss onto Castiel’s lips. This one gentle and loving.

“That was awesome” he mumbles sleepily into Castiel’s lips. Castiel simply smiles and kisses him again.

“It was. Thank you.” he replies.

Dean chuckles. “You don’t have to thank me for great sex man. Especially since you did most of the work…”

“I know. But I enjoy bringing you pleasure Dean. I’m thankful that I’m able to do that.” He runs his hand through Dean’s hair and stares earnestly at him. Hoping that Dean will understand just what this means to him. Dean returns his gaze and strokes a hand up and down his arm. The touch is grounding, comforting and Castiel revels in it. He craves any and all touch from Dean and even after engaging in such an intimate act this moment after feels more intimate somehow. The few times they have previously explored such sexual intimacy was always so rushed and they never had a chance to simply enjoy the afterglow. Castiel finds he prefers this. Dean is practically glowing in his post orgasmic state. Naked and beautiful, and worth the world. He watches as Dean lies back down, seemingly lost in thought until he drapes his arm through the remains of his release and grimaces. Castiel chuckles at him and reaches over the side of the bed to grab a discarded pair of boxers. He wipes down Dean’s chest before settling down beside him. Dean grumbles a thanks into Castiel’s neck before he plants more kisses there and Castiel smiles and wraps his arms around Dean’s waist.

“You know we are gonna have to talk about all this tomorrow right?” Dean says, tone suddenly more serious. Castiel sighs.

“Yeah I know.”

“I wanna make things right man. Stuck in a cell for 3 months with nothing but your own head for company, it brings up a lot of memories.”

Castiel remains silent, but he tightens his grip around Dean, holding the man close to comfort him.

“I got a lot I need to say to you Cas. A lot I shouldda said years ago. I’m glad I’ve got another chance to say it.” His voice catches around his words. The weight of them does not elude Castiel. He kisses Dean’s forehead and sighs.

“We can talk tomorrow Dean. You should sleep now. I’ll stay here.”

Dean huffs a laugh “Yeah. Good. ‘s’all I ever wanted…” he slurs the words as he starts to drift off and Castiel shuffles them both under the covers. He wraps Dean up in his arms and plants another kiss on his forehead as the man finally drifts off into a comfortable sleep.

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be.” He whispers and settles down for the night.

**Author's Note:**

> *runs and hides from this fic*
> 
> Find me on tumblr: http://bluestar86.tumblr.com/


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